I Married an Alcoholic

I married an alcoholic, two in fact. Each had his own brand of darkness - mental health issues that spurred and complicated the abuse of alcohol. I survived both marriages, but not without some choices and actions I regret. I am currently working on my memoir about the experience and would love to hear from other women about their similar journeys. In the meantime, some facts.

About the Prevalence of Alcoholism. A study published in JAMA Psychiatry in 2017 found that the rate of alcohol use disorder rose by 49 percent in the first decade of the 2000s. One in eight American adults, or 12.7 percent of the U.S. population, now meets diagnostic criteria for being an alcoholic, according to the study.The study's authors characterize the findings as a serious and overlooked public health crisis, noting that alcoholism is a significant driver of mortality. I would have to add that it is also a significant driver of misery for the people who have the misfortune of loving an alcoholic.

About the Effects on a Family When One Parent is an Alcoholic. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that an estimated 6.6 million children under the age of 18 years live in households with at least one alcoholic parent. Current research findings suggest that these children are at risk for a range of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral problems. In addition, genetic studies indicate that alcoholism tends to run in families and that a genetic vulnerability for alcoholism exists. Yet, some investigators also report that many children from alcoholic homes develop neither psychopathology nor alcoholism, despite the elephant in the room. While my own personal experience tells me that resilience in the children can be reinforced by the non-alcoholic parent, I know too that the depression, anxiety, and conflict experienced by the non-alcoholic parent in response to their mate’s drinking, can complicate the children’s resiliency.

About Alcoholism and Co-occurring Mental Health Issues. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, roughly one third of individuals struggling with alcohol abuse also suffer from a mental illness. When both are present, the symptoms of alcoholism and a mental illness often feed off of each other. Because of this, any amount of alcohol will affect a person’s emotional well-being and vice versa. If left untreated, a co-occurring mental illness and alcohol dependency can spiral out of control, taking a toll on both the individual suffering and their loved ones.